Everyone tells you that motherhood is hard, and it is, very much so. I was definitely one of the naive mothers-to-be. I wanted to hand make all of my baby’s food once she started weaning, I wanted to take her outside every day and try a new activity. I wanted to do sensory play times and just generally be a full of energy mother. When I had all of those things in mind however, I was getting a lot more sleep. Sometimes 12 hours of sleep. Now I haven’t had a lie in in over a year! I find myself tired so often, it’s hard to be the perfect “Insta Mama” (ew, ew, ew). I admire mothers that do cook every meal for their baby fresh daily, and those that designate every day to a new and exciting activity, I just don’t have the energy, so sometimes my daughter finds herself watching Cartoons and eating food straight from a pouch. Heinz’s best.
I never wanted to admit it, but being a mother is often all I feel I am. That’s hard, it’s really hard. I had a full identity before, now I don’t see friends much, I don’t get out a lot. For the first few months, I couldn’t pursue any hobbies at all. It feels isolating. I think in the end, it’s easy to forget who you are. I love parenting, I love spending the day with my baby - I’ve never wished that away, I just always wished for more hours in the day! There are days where I’d stay up until 2am, just so that I could have some time to myself. No regrets.... Until the 7am wake up, that is!
I feel a lot happier overall lately, because I’ve been drawing a lot more, I’ve been writing and been looking after myself. Hobbies are important. It’s so easy to cast them aside when you’re so busy, but you need them. You deserve to relax and do things you enjoy too. If you don’t have a spare minute in the day, I know it’s hard, but that time will pass. H is so much better at occupying herself when she plays and relies on me less, so I can always be drawing on the side while she’s awake and about. Don’t neglect yourself. Ask people around you to help, if you can. Set aside one day a week where your kids play with grandparents or a friend while you get some self-care in. I completely understand that not everyone has the option to have a few hours away from baby, but for me, it has been a game changer. H goes to the childcare center daily, for about four hours and it does me the world of good. It gives me the time to rest, work on my projects (of which there are always many, yet I rarely finish them) and when she comes home, I feel really refreshed to be there for her until bedtime.
Don’t forget that even though your children are a huge part of your life, and a huge part of who you are, you are also your own individual person. It took my ages to figure that part out, but I’m glad I did.
Comments
Post a Comment